


These Are the Things We Can Do Without

by c00kie



Series: Between Here and There [3]
Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Angst, F/M, Jealousy, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 12:44:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7222861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c00kie/pseuds/c00kie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leslie feels the downside of being in a secret relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Are the Things We Can Do Without

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bookworm03](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookworm03/gifts).



> Title from Shout by Tears for Fears.

In late July, the temperature refuses to dip below 95. Leslie spends most of her time at the pool with Ann. Ann spends most of her time laying out, reading magazines and flirting with the new lifeguard, but Leslie stays in the pool, trying to avoid the boys who go to their school as they chase each other around until the lifeguard blows his whistle at them. 

"Hey sis," Andy shouts as he and Ben put their towels beside her and Ann's chairs. Leslie waves, noting the white streaks of sunscreen on Ben's skin. Andy runs, doing a cannonball into the deep end. 

"Yeah!" He shouts as he comes back up. 

Ben, however, sits on the edge of the pool next to Leslie, kicking the water with his feet. 

"How's it going?" he asks. 

"Good," she answers. 

"It's too hot," Ben complains. "Ugh." 

"Ben!" A girl shouts. Leslie doesn't recognize her, but by the way Ben nod at her, he does. She's incredibly pretty, with brown hair that reaches the middle of her back and olive skin. She swims over to them, taking Ben's hand in her own. Her bikini barely covers her breasts. "I need a partner for couples volleyball!" 

Leslie's heart stops. The girl is even prettier up close. Ann level pretty. 

"Um." Ben hesitates, but then Andy shouts at him, saying to come on and he shrugs. "Yeah, uh okay." 

It's fine, Leslie says as she watches him go off to play. It's fine. 

"You want to go?" Ann asks. 

Leslie nods and swims over to the ladder to get out. She wraps her towel around herself and slips her flip flops back on, grabbing her tote bag. 

On the way out, she glances back at Ben and the girl whose legs are comfortably resting on his shoulders, his hands holding onto her ankles. 

There's absolutely no doubt in Leslie's mind that this is one of Ben's old girlfriends, which means they've had sex. 

"Stop thinking whatever you're thinking," Ann says. "Ben likes you." 

Leslie knows this, but it's hard to believe when he won't say no to Andy and an ex girlfriend. But what is he supposed to do? Say no, I'm too busy having an awkward conversation with my best friend's little sister who I've been secretly making out with every chance I get? 

Yes, a voice in her head supplies. That's exactly what he should do. 

He won't though. He'll just continue to keep her a secret. 

"That new lifeguard is cute," Leslie says instead.

"Yeah, but I don't know." Ann replies, "He seems intense." 

Again, Leslie's heart stops. "Ben called me intense last night." 

Ann doesn't say anything, but it's clear she's waiting for Leslie to continue.

Leslie kicks a pebble. "We were hardcore making out and he stopped it and-"

"Said you were intense," Ann finishes. "Damn." 

Leslie sighs. She's been called intense before, but never like that. "Yeah." 

"So I guess this means you two still haven't-"

"Left second base?" Leslie asks. "Nope. Wait, what's third base? That's in the pants stuff right?"

"Yeah." 

Leslie doesn't ask if dry humping counts. 

"Then yeah." She's doomed to stay on second base forever. 

"Maybe you need to take things into your own hands if you know what I mean," Ann suggests, motioning a hand job. 

"I don't think he wants me to do that." 

"He's a guy, Leslie. He definitely wants you to that." 

Ann's probably right. Leslie changes the subject though, to something slightly less stressful. "At least school's starting in a month." As soon as she says it though, she remembers Ben and Andy will be leaving soon to go back to college. 

Where there are probably lots of tall brunettes with skin that tans instead of freckles. 

"Don't remind me," Ann groans. "I'm not ready."

Leslie doesn't know if she's ready either. 

 

They wash the chlorine out of their hair and skin as soon as they get home, taking turns using the shower. 

Leslie's changing into her clothes when she hears the door downstairs open, and her brother and Ben's voices. 

"She likes you dude!" 

Leslie closes her door, so they don't walk past and see Ann in her underwear and so she doesn't have to hear the rest of their conversation. 

"We can go to my house if you want," Ann says. It's such a beautiful offer that Leslie hugs her. 

"Oh Ann, you are the most beautiful earth shark," Leslie tells her when she lets her go and falls onto her bed. "Thank you. But I should probably be a grown up and stay, right?"

"Probably," Ann agrees, lying down beside her. "You want me to do your make up?"

"Yes, please." 

 

Ann leaves after she's finished with Leslie's make up. Leslie tries to beg her to stay forever, so she can have company while she lives in her room until Andy and Ben go back to college. 

It would be one thing if Ben lived in his own house, but he doesn't. He lives with them during the summer, which means Leslie will have to listen to Andy convince Ben to call hot pool girl, or worse, catch them making out on the couch with her. 

It'll be just like her sixteenth birthday all over again. 

She can't stay in her room forever though. For one thing, she needs to be mature about the situation. Also, she's hungry and her mom has a strict no food in the bedrooms rule because of ants. 

The kitchen is miraculously empty. She hears sounds of gunfire coming from the basement while she eats a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. 

She doesn't hear the footsteps or realize there's someone in the kitchen with her until Andy asks if there's any more Fruity Pebbles left. 

"Yeah." 

"Thanks." He takes the box with him 

Leslie wonders if it's possible to drown yourself in milk. 

She reads in her bedroom for the rest of the day until her mom comes home with dinner. By now her makeup is smeared. Because of her book. Not for any other reason. So she wipes it off the best she can and goes downstairs, hoping that it isn't that obvious she's been crying. 

The good news is no one seems to notice. Ben doesn't even glance at her when she sits across from him. He does however hand her the mashed potatoes so that's something. 

"How was your day, Leslie?" 

"It was fine. Ann and I went to the pool." 

"You guys left pretty early," Andy says as Leslie picks apart her biscuit. "Which sucks because you missed us kick ass at couples water volleyball." 

"Ann was starting to burn." 

"You sure that wasn't you, sweetheart?" Marlene asks, pointing to Leslie's shoulder. She looks, noting the red skin she hadn't noticed before. 

"Oh." 

It's just punctuation on an already crappy day. 

"Put some aloe on it." 

"I will, mom." 

Leslie eats, or tries to anyway while Marlene talks to her brother. 

"Hey." 

She raises her chin, eyes meeting Ben's, but she can't read them. "Yeah?"

"You gonna eat that drumstick?" 

"Go for it," she says, gesturing for him to take it. Ben takes the piece of chicken and Leslie stands up, excusing herself. 

Her book makes her cry again. 

Around ten Leslie's stomach growls, a reminder she didn't eat enough at dinner. She goes downstairs, hoping that there's more chicken left, but expecting the bucket to be empty. 

It is. 

She's spreading the peanut butter on the bread when arms wrap around her and gentle lips touch her neck. 

"Tell me what's wrong." 

She blinks, her stomach twisting into knots. She thinks it might be making itself into a balloon animal. 

"My book upset me," Leslie says, slipping out of Ben's embrace and walking away from him. 

"Your book." 

"Yes," Leslie confirms, sticking her chin out. "My book. It's very sad." 

"Huh. Because I would have thought you were upset because you were jealous." 

She throws her arms in the air. "Well if you already knew!" 

"I thought you would tell me on your own." 

Leslie shakes her head. "I think we both thought a lot of things." 

She turns, needing to get away. 

"Your sandwich."

"You eat it," Leslie says as she walks out of the kitchen. "I'm no longer hungry." 

She spends the next day at Ann's house, fans blasting while they watch movies and eat sugar free popsicles. 

"I don't think it's going to work out." It's the first time she's admitted it out loud. 

"I'm sorry, Leslie." 

"It's fine. There are plenty of other boys right?" Sure, none of them will make her toes curl or take her out for midnight waffles or make her laugh the way Ben does, but she won't have to be a secret. 

"You could tell him you don't want your relationship to be a secret anymore. You have to come out about it eventually right?"

"Eventually, yes. But not yet," Leslie answers. "We've agreed to wait until I graduate." 

"That's only a year away."

"A year of listening to Andy tell Ben to call various girls and watching them push their breasts into his face."

Ann raises her eyebrow. "Do they do that?" 

"Of course they do, Ann!" How can she not get that? Leslie slumps on the couch. "This is what I get for being with the sexiest guy in Pawnee." 

"Right." 

The house is quiet when Leslie gets home. There's no sound of gunfire or Andy telling Ben to stop beating him. There's just welcoming silence. 

Except Ben is there, watching TV. "Hey." 

"Um, hi. Where's Andy?"

"Band practice. Left about an hour ago. So I'm watching Maury and I'm pretty sure I'm losing brain cells," he says, turning the tv off. 

"You didn't want to go?"

"And watch them argue about which Dave Matthews song they're going to cover for four hours?" Ben asks, making a face. "No." 

"Oh. Well, I thought there might be groupies there." 

Ben sighs, rubbing his hand over his face. "Okay, you want to do this? Fine. Tell me what you want me to do. Do you want me to tell him?"

He doesn't yell the question, or even say it in a mean way, but Leslie still burst into tears. 

"Crap," he mutters and the next thing Leslie knows, she's being pulled into a hug and he's kissing the top of her head. She can't stop crying into his shirt though. 

"You have nothing to worry about with me and Vanessa-"

Vanessa? That really is a hot girl's name. 

"Or any other girl. Or anyone. I promise." He kisses her head again. 

She believes him, she really does, but it still doesn't feel like enough. She keeps her thought to herself though as she wraps her arms around his neck and feels the ends of his hair between her fingers. 

He smiles as he places her hands on the small of her back. Sometimes she thinks this particular smile is exclusively for her. Maybe it is. She's never seen him give it to any other girl. 

"How do you know her?" Leslie knows she shouldn't be asking. She doesn't want to know. 

Except she does. She needs to know every detail because maybe then the image she has in her head won't be so bad. 

"She's in my study group for French."

"Oh." Great now she's imagining them sitting in a Parisian cafe, feeding each other eclairs. "And we're you two- did you- was there-"

"Are you asking if I slept with her?" 

She closes her eyes and exhales. "Yeah."

"No."

"No?" Leslie repeats, not sure if she believes him. Not because Ben would ever lie to her, but because, "But she's hot."

"Do you want to sleep with her?" Ben asks. Other guys would waggle their eyebrows or go 'Hell yeah, threesome!' but not Ben. If anything, Ben sounds jealous. 

She cackles. "No. I just know you've been with a lot of girls and I know your type-"

Ben's arms wrap around Leslie's waist, pulling her closer. "My type is you, Leslie." His brow furrows. "Wait, is this about Cindy?"

"The lights turned on and everyone yelled surprise and there you were, frenching Cindy Eckert in front of the cake!" 

"Leslie-"

"Her hand smashed my cake, Ben!" 

He rolls his eyes. "Uh huh. Well I'm sorry."

"Not as sorry as Cindy," Leslie admits, remembering Cindy's scream when her hand hit the cold ice cream. 

"You're the only person who would have an ice cream cake in January."

"It's not fair that summer birthdays get ice cream cake." 

"No, it's not," Ben agrees, brushing his lips across hers, making her toes curl again. She deepens the kiss, desiring more of him. Maybe she was wrong to think it was already over. Maybe this is just something they'll need to learn how to navigate together. 

Because she would much rather be with him in secret than not with him at all. 

"Um, we probably have half an hour before mom gets home."

"And Andy's going to be late," Ben adds, before kissing her again. 

"So-"

He takes her hands and leads her to the couch.


End file.
